The Stress of Working by the Hour

Yes, it's nice to have the flexibility of scheduling nominally allowed by the fact that I'm only getting paid for when I'm there. But it's also extremely stressful, especially for someone with an overdeveloped conscience like mine, to sit at a job where I get paid by the hour if I don't have something specific to do. If my supervisors are out at meetings, haven't yet responded to my emails, reviewed the last thing I've accomplished nor given me a new assignment, in theory it's their fault that I'm not doing anything productive. And yet I still can't legitimately sit at my desk and goof off...at least I don't think so. So I do some combination of possibly-maybe useful web research and goofing off, while trying to look busy and focused. This involves keeping my ears tuned for approaching footsteps and having my fingers ever-ready on the alt-tab keys, and results in my being bored and stressed simultaneously. I also end up shaving bits off of the time I bill for, because I feel guilty that I wasn't really working during some of that time. But if that wasn't my fault...

Sigh.