Outsider

ד׳ תשרי, תשס״ו

My school is in a rather religious neighborhood. The children in such areas are often very independent, running errands and going outside to play without direct parental supervision at much younger ages than would be expected these days in most places, because there is an unofficial but very strongly enforced “neighborhood watch.” Strangers are recognized as such and adults are alert to children, theirs or otherwise. Small children might be allowed, therefore, to go out alone even before they are old enough to safely cross the street alone; they are taught to stand on the curb until an adult comes along to cross them over.

Today I was standing in front of my school waiting for a cab. Along came a little girl of about four, maybe; she stood there at the curb looking out at the street. The procedure I’ve described above wasn’t at the top of my mind at the moment, but seeing her standing there looking purposeful but quite still I asked her in Hebrew if she was all right. She solemnly nodded her head yes without looking at me and continued to stand there. Not wanting to make her nervous, I stepped back a bit and continued to wait…and so did she. I thought maybe her mother or an older sibling was coming home soon and she was out to greet them. I’m not sure why the simple goal of crossing the street didn’t cogently occur to me, but it didn’t. After a bit I considered asking her if she was waiting for someone, but just as I was about to do so, two men in the standard black hat/black coat/white shirt attire came down the street, and I think she called out to them. One of them asked her if she wanted to cross the road, she said yes, and he walked next to her to the opposite curb before continuing on his way. She scampered off to the playground, and I was left feeling a bit foolish and rather unreasonably hurt.

Had I realized straight off what she needed, I would have offered my assistance, and my guess is she probably would have accepted, although perhaps warily. But despite the fact that I am a woman and I was standing next to her for several minutes, she wouldn’t have trusted me for the small favor that was natural for her to ask of these unknown men. Because I am an outsider, a student at a foreign institution that just happens to be located near her home, but not at all a member of her community. I suppose that’s the just way it is, and that it’s safer for these kids to recognize who is and isn’t one of their own. Nevertheless, I found it very sad to have been branded an alien among Jews by this small child.