It just didn't work out
In going through all my piles, I come to notes and problem sets from my engineering classes, and it makes me kind of sad. I look at everything I wrote, and it's a foreign language now. When it came down to what I like to do, I should have stayed in engineering. I even knew that then; I just also knew that I could only handle it if I could have taken a part-time schedule every semester (but spend full time on it). So I switched, but the entire episode is tinged with regret. I actually enjoyed that stuff, but I never got anything positive out of all the effort. It became a dead end, which is really a shame. It's one more instance of time-pressure being my enemy, the entity that steals all my potential accomplishments. All the things I could do if only I could do them fast enough...
And when I throw all this stuff away, I feel like I'm discarding a piece of myself that never came to fruition.
posted by Alisha @ 6:49 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I know the feeling.. by all definitions, I should be an engineer. I think I am, now, officially a member of IEEE, but it took time, and wasn't simple.
I don't build bridges.. but we do other things. I also look at the world from what I consider an engineer's mindset. I've had to learn the buisness side, despite my official "Buisness" degree.
I even remember when I couldn't get one interesting job interview out of the normal career office, but got multitudes from the engineering one...
It's not too late! If you want to do it....go for it(at Cornell or elsewhere). You're young and have a whole life in front of you. Don't let frustration keep you down. Desire and motivation is all you really need to avoid regrets later.
In response to Anonymous #2 (I'd love to know who you are, btw) --
It's not that I want to do it so badly so much as I'm frustrated by the waste of time and effort of those two years. It's certainly not worth it to me to put myself through more school (which in my mind directly translates to torture), especially not right now. I may have most of my life left in front of me, but I'd like to start living some of it. Furthermore, even if I was that motivated, I have absolutely no reason to think that my ability to manage it would be any better the second time around.
BS"D
You know, it wasn't necessarily a waste of time - it *is*, after all, part of what brought you to the place you are in today. You're going places, for sure.
My friend W "did time" in engineering & struggled with all sorts while she was there. She finally dropped out after a couple of years & got the most amazing tattoo with her totem animals & like the whole world all over her upper back. I'm not saying you'd feel better if you did this, but perhaps you need some kind of ritual closure so you can let go of your regrets.
BTW, W is now a part time plumbing engineer & a part time reflexologist, & toying with the idea of going into comparatine religion. She's really happy :)
Shavu'ah tov!
i have (at least) two lives, one the semi-engineer the other my liberal arts life. sometimes they are in harmony, sometimes not.
it saddens me (especially given the recent discussion at hahvahd) to see us not sticking with or even starting engineering, but there has to be a way to balance both. i'm a member of ieee and acm (some will say i'm not a true engineer *sigh*) but still...
also, don't think it was a waste. there is a Plan we might not understand it, but it's there...
i know if i hadn't done it i wouldn't have met my basheret.. (aah the things that happen in a engineering computer lab after midnight...)
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