One Glimmer...

I meant to post this last week when I found this article about the life of Robert F. Maguire, Jr., who apparently dedicated a great portion of his life and career to bringing refugee Jews from all over the world home to Israel. Most notably, he was the lead pilot for Operation Magic Carpet, the project that evacuated nearly the entire Jewish population of Yemen from Aden in 1948-50.

I am grateful not only to learn about this chaver, but also to clarify at least one true identity out of my historical confusion surrounding Exodus. Maguire seems to have been loosely represented by Foster J. MacWilliams.

Presto!

Blogger has a new feature -- you can upload pictures directly into a post! They couldn't have come up with this a couple of months ago before I downloaded, installed and figured out how to use Hello?

But in any case, I'll test it out...













Cool!

Messy

#1 dis-recommended method for cracking a raw egg: on one's head, as Ramona inadvertently did.

#2 dis-recommended method for cracking a raw egg: in the palm of one's hand, as I just inadvertently did.

Don't worry, I washed my hands before blogging about it.

Intriguing

Granted, this isn't quite as perplexing as Uberimma's case of the Amish/Jewish mystery family. But today on the way home I was on the bus with an Asian-looking woman and three Asian-looking kids. Except the boy was wearing a black velvet kippa over his straight dark hair, among which were long straight strands of pei'ot. And he had tzitit hanging out from under his T-shirt over his shorts. And when his mother addressed the younger girl as "Sarah," she pronounced the a as in "car," like you would in Hebrew, rather than as in "care" like the English version of the name. And the older girl was wearing a long skirt. But the mother (as I assume she was) was wearing a relatively short skirt, as in above the knee.

Curious. I'm just very, very curious. I'd love to know these people's stories...

Just What Israel Doesn't Need

...another tragedy. Baruch Dayan Emet.

Self-Deception All Around

There was a recent survey that found that most Arab Israelis are ok with Israel being a Jewish state, just not a Zionist one. The difference in their minds, as explained in Ha'aretz, goes like this:

Israeli Arabs believe that a Jewish state is a state in which most of the citizens are Jewish, whereas a Zionist state is a state for the Jewish people from around the world.

"For Zionists, one of the goals Israel should set itself is maintaining its Jewish majority at all costs," says Smooha. "That is a Zionist goal, and includes settlement in the Jewish sense and the ingathering of exiles by means of the Law of Return. But the Arabs are not willing to accept this situation in perpetuity."

This seems to mean that unlike many Arabs who call themselves Palestinians and want the Jewish state to disappear immediately if not sooner, 70% of Israeli Arabs don't mind there being a Jewish state, as long as it is temporary. That is, as long as Israel is in danger of demographic demise, these Arabs are happy to call themselves Israeli citizens. Great.

Now let's check the Jewish perspective:

The survey also found that 75 percent of the Jewish respondents agreed with the statement, "Israeli Arabs have the right to live here as equal citizens with full rights." Some 80 percent of the Jewish respondents, however, said that an Israel Arab who defines himself as "a Palestinian Arab in Israel cannot be loyal to the state and its laws."

So most Jews, not surprisingly, are wont to suspect any Arab who insists on keeping a "Palestinian" identity despite living in Israel, because, of course, so many Palestinians reject the Jewish state. But the same Jews are fine with Arabs who are willing to call themselves Israelis, because presumably their acceptance of that title implies acceptance of Israel itself with her goals and prerogatives.

I'll bet the Jews taking their section of this survey weren't told about the results to the Arab section before they answered...

They Start Younger Every Year...

Nearly three weeks ago, I wore a black cap and gown for my college graduation.

Eight years ago, I wore a white cap and gown for my high school graduation.

I was walking to the subway last Friday morning and saw a little girl dressed in a baby-pink gown, trying to fix her cap...for her kindergarten graduation??

When I finished sixth grade, I graduated from the "lower school," and there was a ceremony, but officially it was called "advancement." Not graduation, not commencement, and certainly no regalia. I'm not sure how I feel about this trend of aggrandizing every step. It's cute and exciting for a little kid to think they're graduating, just like they've probably seen older relatives do. I guess it falls into the category of positive reinforcement, especially if they had to exhibit certain good behaviors associated with having successfully absorbed the values taught in kindergarten. But still, part of me thinks it's just a wee bit melodramatic. I guess that's the part of me that hasn't yet gotten over being selfishly jealous over my own hard-earned claim to the title "graduate."

Restoring Torahs to Life

This is truly amazing...

Thank you

...to so many of my wonderful, amazing friends who got me a really cool present, and even more importantly make me feel special and loved.

I love you back.

What I Want to Do in Israel

Many people have asked me why I'm so set on going to Israel. What exactly do I want to learn? How do I believe it will help me? In choosing specific programs, I have stated that I need flexibilty, because I have very specific goals. Here I will finally set them down in writing:

1) I want to learn halacha. More precisely, I want to better understand the halachot that I encounter in my daily life. I seem to have a basket of questions that flies open at every point when my certainty of what to do in a particular situation fails, or, even more often, when my comprehension of why I must do it falls short. I'm not only looking for the answer, but for an understanding of the context in which the answer was decided, including any alternative opinions and their rationales. By all rights I should have been keeping a list of all these over at least the past year, but I have no doubt that by simply living my life the questions will re-arise in partnership with their related situations. And, when I approach each one, I know full well that its answer(s) may likely raise a further web of perplexities, which is why I have been avoiding rather than addressing the initial questions for such a long time. I hope to have a year in which I need not cast aside my stated priorities for such trivialities as spiritual understanding...because that will be my stated priority.

2) I want to learn how to learn. Most likely, in a yeshiva atmosphere, when I ask my questions the responses will include directions to certain sources, certain texts. Right now I need that direction to be extremely specific, and I will also need assistance in deciphering the sources once I find them. I hope to learn the structure of codification and commentary so that I might have some idea of how to look something up on my own, and to gain enough practice in doing so that I'd have a chance at reaching an answer, or at least at perusing the conversation of the topic, independently.

3) I want to accomplish something purely for myself. Yes, I'd like to learn Torah l'shma -- for its own sake -- but to do that will inherently also be a reclamation of my own will and my ability to apply it. For so many years I have been a slave to an educational system that has been determined and required by external forces, and my psyche has devised innumerable tricks to loosen the chains. I now need to redevelop the ability to focus when the goal is of my own creation. I need to approach something that is hard for me and pursue it relentlessly, not because I must, for a change, but because I want to and therefore must prove to myself that I can.

Having stated these three main purposes, I must clarify that I do not want #1 to dominate all my learning time. I also want to learn Tanach and Talmud and Hashkafa, etc. I do plan to take some actual courses where the curriculum is predetermined. But even this will engage all the points above, as I know that my web of questions will be triggered just as readily by these areas of Torah as by practical halachic investigation, I want to gain skills for independent study in these topics as well, and I certainly include such study as equally worthy of the devotion-to-a-goal that I must learn to implement.

Having said all this, I must also admit that I am quite scared. Scared that my goals are too huge, that a year is nowhere near long enough to do one fiftieth of what I hope to do, that there is no yeshiva that will be able or willing to provide me (who has no spectacular background in learning nor lofty goals of becoming an educator/Jewish leader) with enough individual attention to accomplish what I hope to, that I don't actually have the internal strength to concentrate so intensely and extensively. Scared that I am laying too much self-redemption for all my years of intellectual laziness, religious shirking, inadequate self-improvement, on this one year.

And so here I hover, on the edge of a new era of my life, worrying about having enough money to support myself for a year, and eager, apprehensive, excited and anxious all at once about what the year will bring.

Transit Gripes

I work in a field that is dedicated to promoting alternative forms of transportation, which usually means transit. But in NYC, transit is pretty standard. The subway is a way of life. So I wanted to try a new alternative: ferry. After all, I live two blocks from the river, and the New York Water Taxi docks literally right behind my office building. So why not? Well, it seems that they've recently discontinued service to the uptown pier, the one in Carl Schurz Park. The interruption might be temporary, the woman at the info booth tells me. Perhaps it will start running again after the summer.

Gee, thanks.

And then there's the other alternative: non-motorized transport. I would love to bike to work. It would make me feel so good. But I refuse to ride in Manhattan traffic -- too dangerous. No problem, right? There's a Greenway nearly the whole way around the island, with no motor-vehicle traffic at all most of the way and only light traffic for most of the rest. Note those two words, "nearly" and "most." And then take a closer look at the map and see the only spot in which the bike path detours into high-traffic conditions for over a mile. But of course they can't have a bike path running right behind the UN! Those bikes are ever so much more of a security risk than all those harmless cars and trucks and buses running up First Avenue!

*Sigh*

They Just Don't Get It

I've been tolerating my job. Sometimes I have things to do, some of which are more annoying than others. All too frequently, still, I have nothing to do. They give me one small task, which usually couldn't take more than an hour even if I drag it out, and several more "projects" which generally involve waiting for someone else to do something and then following up with another small task, or watching a process that I know nothing about, ostensibly being there to help but serving absolutely no useful purpose...either because someone else is already actually doing it or because I know nothing about it.

I've discussed this with my boss. He's told me to tell him when I need something to do. Usually I do. Often as not, though, he gives me another mini-task, or refers me to someone else who has another project...all of which results in the same kind of scenario as I described above.

They think I'm busy, even though I tell them otherwise. They think that they're giving me lots to do. They apologize when they interrupt me, because they "know" I'm busy. Correcting them doesn't help. After all this while I often give up.

I suppose I should be grateful. I email, I read blogs (the parts I can get to through the firewall), I write posts to my own. But all the time my fingers are on those alt-tab keys, like I'm the one who's doing something wrong by not doing the work I don't have. And it doesn't help that the executive director (with whom I have very little contact) has his office right behind my cubicle. Behind, mind you, so the door faces my screen.

Probably nobody pays me half the attention I think they do. They probably all mind their own business and assume I'm doing lots of important work. But I'd hate to be called for an explanation if anyone ever looked at a log of my internet usage...

Today's Activity: Saluting Israel and the Thanking the U.S.

Check out ClooJew's complaints about the Salute to Israel Parade...but please read the comments, which I have shamelessly dominated. (Sorry, ClooJew.)

And take a look at this picture, which illustrates my feelings ever so well (although the effect was completely accidental!):


Dual Identities...

Graduation Musings

OK, so a week ago I was going to post this "soon," and it was going to have a lot more content. I've decided to stop racking my brains for meaningful comments and just go with the few that come to mind:

• Marching in a procession is very nice. But the really cool, really unbelievable part is passing under a "grandstand" filled with red-robed trustees, and down a path lined with similarly regaled faculty and administration, and having them standing there and applauding for me. Wow.

• Having a flat board resting on the top of my head for five-ish hours is a very good way to acquire a splitting headache. And when I say splitting, I mean that my head felt like it was about to split open in all directions from that point.

• Who can say "anti-climax" ???
  

*sniffle*

Whoever invents the cure for the common cold should be awarded the Nobel Prize.

Just my humble opinion.

Update, 5:08am: Have I mentioned that having a cold **pause, run for tissue** SUCKS???!